Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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