and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
he fucked my hip out of place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize