does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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