whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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