We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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