gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
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