Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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