so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
