Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
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