I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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