So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
It's rum buckets o'clock
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
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