If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
