the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
