I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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