You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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