So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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