So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
She's the barista slut.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
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