I'm going to rape someone's good day.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
