DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
