i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
