I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
3pm strippers are depressing
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize