i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I'm too high and old for this...
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
