Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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