Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
