I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
