garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
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