Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
