"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
