Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
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