I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
