Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
