Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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