did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
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