can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
