Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
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