the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Randomize
