wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
