They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
