do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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