New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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