After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
