I don't usually arrange sex via text message
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Randomize