yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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