I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
