So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
