If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
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