Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
