I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
