It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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