PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
