i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Randomize
