I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
