just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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