I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Randomize
