Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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