He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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