just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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