i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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