what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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