She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
