wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize