That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
