and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
apparently the secret to your success is patron
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
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spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
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she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
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