And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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