i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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