I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
