I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
