Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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