so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
